Loved?
Blessed?
Learning, striving and growing?
Grateful?
Trying to move in the right direction?
Going to do it anyway?
There are so many ways I could finish that phrase and, with those words, start this project. Any of those options above would be true and accurate. And inadequate. I know I would look back some time later and wonder why I chose that word or phrase.
And that, I think, is why I’ll leave the title at what it is – Not perfect, but… The reality is, so long as I keep looking for the “perfect” thing – the perfect word for a sentence, the perfect time to take a step forward in writing, the perfect time to change jobs or pay a compliment – it will never arrive. Sometimes hindsight might make a step appear to have been perfectly timed or perfectly executed, but at the time it happened, perfection was unknown and out of reach.
So here I go, imperfectly taking a step forward. Not perfect, but…
I start here with an invitation. I welcome you to join me on a faith journey. The first thing I’ll shed is any pretension that I know anything beyond my own experience. At least, I won’t claim to know anything for certain. But I’ve come to a point in my life where “going public” with certain things that I believe – yes, believe, meaning I have “faith” in them – feels like an imperative. I need to do this. I need to share things that have helped me and, I think, can help others.
Let me tell you where the “fence line” for this space runs, to give you some idea whether you want to read further:
- If you totally can’t bear the thought of reading about God, or Jesus, or our relationship with them, then maybe this isn’t for you. God, and Jesus as our saviour, and the joys and challenges we face in relating to them and one another, are the central theme of this blog. (If you’re skeptical but haven’t completely shut the door on discussions or consideration of all things God or Jesus related, please don’t stop reading quite yet. You are welcome here.)
- As I start out, I’ll confess having a bit of a hang-up about remaining humble in this blog (and in the rest of my life). You’ll see more of why this is so in some of what I write here. I believe very strongly in certain things, but I’ll readily agree that they are just beliefs. This means, first off, that you are welcome to hold me to account. If I start sounding like an arrogant know-it-all telling you the one and only way to do things, remind me of this commitment. Maybe it will be the case that I was just being passionate. But maybe I’ll get carried away at some point and forget who I’m not – and so keeping me “honest”, so to speak, is a good thing. It also means, on the other hand, that I’m particularly keen on having humility define any dialogue that might take place here. In other words, I invite you to stay humble, too – and demonstrate that in how you engage.
- I’m a hypocrite. I don’t want to be one, but I recognize that what I believe in and what I do are not aligned. I think that’s also called being human. Certainly Paul admitted that he did not do what he wanted to do, and did do what he didn’t want to do – even though he carried within him the Holy Spirt and followed Christ with all his heart and soul. That goes with being “fallen”, with being a sinner. My aim is to steadily narrow the gap between how I believe I should live in following Christ, and how I actually live. Admitting that there’s a gap, I think, helps keep it exposed as a problem and as something to continue working on. And coming clean with it here is intended to help make clear that I know I’ll fail sometimes to be loving even though I’ll argue its critical to be loving; I’ll be arrogant though I profess humility; I’ll get angry when I should be quick to forgive. All of this, I think, just reinforces why I need Jesus. I can’t do this right on my own.
OK, that’s enough preamble. If you’ve read this far, thank you and welcome to Not perfect, but… I hope you’ll keep on reading. I hope we’ll learn from each other. I hope we’ll grow more perfect, without growing more troubled about why we’re not there yet.